1: Detectable only by instruments
Four deep breaths and a cough to order.
Richter is a faint arrhythmia, a doctor’s
musing on the wisdom of an ECG.
Richter dresses when directed, then
strides his heavy stride to work, an
undodged bullet lodged deep in his chest.
2: Barely detectable, even near the epicentre
Richter no longer finds pleasure in his desk,
its woodgrain finish, this ergonomic
wonder of the ancient world.
He desires a standing desk,
a treadmill. His fingers tap frustration
against his faithful keyboard’s bevelled edge.
3: Felt indoors
“I have abandonment issues,”
says Richter. “My father, you know …”
Tears magnify his eyes.
The therapist nods. On her pad,
his chair becomes a flower, Richter’s face
abashed amid the petals.
4: Felt by all; slight damage
In the ornamental garden, Richter
is diminished. The herbaceous border’s neatness
mocks his bulky frame.
He finds a remnant stand of native bush
and feels at ease. His booming laugh
bounces kārearea, kākāriki, off the trees.
5: Felt by all; damage minor to moderate
On any away day, Richter
is the open-handed host. His generosity
makes him the life, the heart, the soul.
However the day ends, Richter loses.
Sleep flees from his lonely motel bed
at the sound of other people having sex.
6: Moderately destructive
Saturday morning with headphones and grubber,
Richter smashes hyacinth and onion weed.
He knows the dream property
can only be built on sap and blood. His music
yowls to a temporary pause. Surveying his work,
he nods approval at the wet and wretched earth.
7: Major damage
Richter’s faithful-husband phase
lasts north of twenty years. It ends
in a younger colleague and an unlocked phone.
He takes the divorce and names it freedom,
stalks Tinder to replicate his brief success
till time swipes Richter left and left and left.
8: Total damage
Richter’s heart gives out
between sofa and table, between whisky sour
and solitary dinner.
He lies on the carpet and watches it turn grey.
Tiny tremors, created by his fall,
are undetectable before they fade away.
a journal of poetry for Aotearoa | ISSN 2744-3248