Poems by Renee Hill

Ordered by most recent inclusion in Tarot

the ones with stencil flies
on the rim that enclose

my ankle, as it looks for love
in all the wrong places.

It is always night time
when I notice we are

still together. Maybe 3am.
We don’t need to talk,

I use your pace as soft
focus, while my thoughts

concrete themselves in
layers. No one is around

to draw a stick through
my brain cement,

to shape a heart encasing
the initials of two lovers,

just us. I have looked
at your soles slapping

the pavement a thousand
times as you skirt the icy grass.

Even though you are scuffed
and deal in chipped rubber,

even though you lace
wet jeans and are humbled

by cobblestones and
unreliable steps,

you keep coming
back for more of me.

The milk never
came after you were cut
from my body
on your birth day.
I went mad
for you.

Shaving each valium
with the blade, I
strain to make it
into unlickable dust
so I can stop using
them.

It is hard to look
at this tiny skin of truth
in its flakiness—
I might want to die
again if I go
off script.

While you sleep
during the day I lie
stretched taut on the
rack of blue denim couch.
I binge on a tv series
about a defective

family, the Mum
a reckoning power
house, hoping you
won’t wake up

so I can get to the end
of another episode.

When I hear your
staccato whimpers
my pressurised
guts rush down
the chute of my body
to slosh in my feet.

Power surges
through my
house, your cry
is the only thing
I can answer.