Thongs for the Ages

I am phoning to physically thank you
as in mutual masturbation. Not so
completely sure how this works since
I am getting a competitive image.
The winner just finishing off his high fives,
proceeds to the stairwell
past the ponderous fire door.
Ignoring a large group of opportunists
that mispronounce every vowel as if
we were fucking a Norwegian.
If this is music, it is independent
of our intended rhythmic lust.