an Aotearoa poetry journal | ISSN 2744-3248

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Tarot #07
Tarot #06
Tarot #05
Tarot #04
Tarot #03
Tarot #02
Tarot #01

I placed my hand on your chest

I placed my hand on your chest
and told you to rest for your body
is feeling weary and tired now with
the ache of age settling into your
bones yet you still look at me with
love in your eyes and call me home
even though sometimes you may
roam which makes me panic for
my darling should not be left alone.
I can see the rise and fall of you
breathing and I just pray that soon
you won’t be leaving although we
both spent many hours discussing
the grieving and the way you might
possibly go makes my heart so slow.
I have loved you for many years and
you have witnessed all my fears and
tears but also the beautiful mornings
where the sun hung low enough in
the sky for us to chase after it and
bask in the cool rays of moonlight
when I knew you would be alright.
We watch over you with concerned
gazes for this illness is a maze for
me to understand and I just want
to feel you kissing my hand for I
am in pain knowing you will never
be the same again with your youth
and energy for now the simplest of
tasks are done slowly and steadily
under my watchful eye when we
both know I am going to sit on my
bedroom floor and cry at the idea
of having to one day say goodbye.
The weight has fallen off you now
and you rely on medication to give
you much needed salvation to help
your body process the coming and
goings of life because a body clock
can only tick over for so long without
some additional help to stay strong.
You are still there in your mind and
are as sharp as a whistle and I know
you used to hate getting thistles in
your feet but you barely leave your
room now and spend all day sleeping
the aches and pains away with some
much needed hugs and kisses to keep
them at bay yet you never once have
been angry towards me for having a
stay in what happens to you for you
are not capable of making a decision.
I look back at photographs of us when
we were both much younger and I want
to take you back to those times before I
knew how to rhyme and make sure you
stayed fine except I know I am not able
to change the final impact on your health.
But these years I have known you were
richer than any wealth that I could ever
own for having you in my arms and being
able to help each other stay away from
harm is worth its weight in gold but the
idea of growing old and no longer being
bold makes my heart break for you are
a gift that I know I must give back to the
big beautiful sky one day soon for you
belong amongst the stars and the moon
with the sun there as a reminder for you
lived so well and once were young before
the rainbow stretched across the sky as
I had to utter my last bereaved goodbye.
But I know we will meet again when you
are no longer in pain and do not mind the
rain and I will be older too yet glance at
you with familiarity and softly say I loved
you all my life and you will just look back
at me with love in your eyes for that is
something you always knew to be true.